September 15, 2011

#AttackWatch fun

"Attack watch" is a terrible idea.  At best it seems desperate and beneath a president.  Others interpret it as intimidation towards opponents.  I'm glad freedom-loving Americans are fighting the authoritarian with an avalanche of humor.

The below have been gathered from different sites.  Please comment if you have a good one to share and, if I like it, I'll add it to the list. 

Dear #attackwatch: Orwell’s 1984 was a cautionary tale, not an instruction manual.

#AttackWatch I still have friends and family I believe are not on any kind of government assistance. Where can I report names?

So glad #attackwatch is here to dispel those unfounded attacks involving Solyndra, Gibson, Fast and Furious, Gulf moratorium, NBPP, etc.

Hey @attackwatch, there was an idiot in Congress last Thursday that kept screaming “pass this bill” when no bill had even been submitted.  #attackwatch

- someone said Obama is Hitler. I said that it's not true - Hitler got the Olympics for Germany. was that OK?"

Dear #attackwatch my neighbor won’t give me all her money even though she makes more than me. Look into this please.

Hey #attackwatch I just looked at a map of the U.S.  Someone has stolen 7 of the 57 States!

#attackwatch I saw someone purposely squeeze the Charmin in the grocery store

I want to report that an elected executive has been bowing to world dictators! #attackwatch @barackobama

“pass the bill to see what’s in it” !? I want to report Pelosi for gross dereliction of duty! #attackwatch @attackwatch 

I want to report a jr. sen. from IL that voted care not allowed for babies surviving botched abortions! evil: @barackobama #attackwatch

Taking away worker’s right to a private vote on whether to unionize! I want to report the dems for fascism! #attackwatch

Gee can’t imagine why BO supporters get upset when we call them “brown-shirts” or liken them to USSR’s “useful idiots”..#attackwatch

someone's pushing a ponzi scheme on Americans! they call it "social security". #attackwatch

Some guy named Joe Biden called Obama a “clean and articulate” black guy. I don’t know about you, but that smacks of racism. #attackwatch

#attackwatch I want to report a guy who farted in the elevator but refused to blame it on Bush.

#attackwatch Obama actually created 2 jobs yesterday...Republican Mark Amodei seat and Republican Bob Turners seat

Coincidence that @attackwatch colors are the same as Nazi flag? #attackwatch

Al Gore invented the internet just to humiliate Obama with #attackwatch

I’m grateful to live in a country where the totalitarians are so hilariously inept. #AttackWatch

My disabled WW2 Veteran neighbor insults Obama every day, he flies the American flag! #attackwatch

#attackwatch we much, we must and we will much, about that, be committed.

#attackwatch I think my neighbor is harboring conservatives in their attic. Please send the mean the DHS.

@BarackObama campaign has Tea Party moles. Nobody who likes the president would ever launch something as bad as @attackwatch. #attackwatch

Hey #attackwatch, I saw 6 ATM’s in an alley, killing a Job. It looked like a hate crime!

Uh oh..there’s a brown #AttackWatch van in my driveway. No..wait! It’s just UPS...whew!

#attackwatch: I saw kids setting up a lemonade stand the other day. And their parents had a flag in their yard.

Some jerk next to me says George Soros puts geoducks “inside himself!” This is NOT TRUE! #attackwatch

CRIPES! I just saw someone lift with their back and not their legs! This just won’t do. #AttackWatch are you aware of this?

Dear #AttackWatch, If I tell you what my Pastor said, can I have an ObamaCare waiver?

@AttackWatch Someone’s lying about the president on TV right now. Wait. That IS the president! #attackwatch

@AttackWatch I tried to find some red/black themed posters for you, but only ones I found are in German and have a funny symbol #attackwatch

The conservatives have coopted the #attackwatch hashtag. Another Acme product explodes in the face of Wile E. Obama

SEIU Intimidation Manual Exposed! #evil #attackwatch

hey @attackwatch investigate the whole country for not watching Olbermann #attackwatch LMFAO!!

@attackwatch Which Alinsky rule is #attackwatch?

#attackwatch I heard the OBAMA isnt even a good golfer even though he plays all the time @attackwatch

#attackwatch: “If I turn in 10 people, do I get an official brown shirt?”

#attackwatch Holder is guilty of murder.sold guns to drug cartel .oh, wait obama said it was ok to help the Drug on blow

Obama Sends Out Creepy Email: “Sometime Soon, Can We Meet For Dinner?” #attackwatch

It’s been 16 hours since @AttackWatch last posted a tweet. If that’s what they call ‘fighting back’ the 2012 election should be EASY.

1,472 ObamaCare waivers. #AttackWatch

Hey @AttackWatch, there's a rumor that your website is staffed by people who work at 501(c)(3) orgs and that's a no-no. #attackwatch

I heard a rumor that Obama was in fact dumber than Bush! Please help! Post his college transcripts to refute that. #attackwatch

@attackwatch, some idiot created a Twitter hashtag called #attackwatch and people are incessantly mocking @barackobama on it.

I don't think this transparent admin is very transparent, could you look into that? #attackwatch

#AttackWatch WH messing w/unemployment calculation. Please check into this & recalculate, if necessary. TY

Is “cash for clunkers” still in operation? How much can we get trading in @BarackObama toward a President who actually works? #attackwatch

Hey #AttackWatch, one word: Canada. They’ve been passing this stuff off as bacon for years...and it’s not.

Dear #AttackWatch We keep creating jobs in SC. They must be stopped. Oh wait, I forgot, you’re on top of that with the Boeing deal.

#attackwatch do you take reports from all 57 states? 

#attackwatch I know where Anne Frank is hiding!

#AttackWatch - Sarah Palin lives rent free inside your thin skull - are my govt tax $$ subsidizing her? I think this issue is a travesty

#AttackWatch I would like to report the theft of NY’s 9th Congressional District (& the Democrat Party’s mojo) by the GOP. 

Obama launched a program to track attack threats. We had a similar program on the Death Star, but that didn’t stop Luke. #AttackWatch

If #AttackWatch goes down, please be patient! North Korean software takes a while to reboot! 

@AttackWatch Someone in my house just said Obama failed every econ class in college. Please release his transcripts to debunk. #attachwatch

Dear @AttackWatch Reporting @BarackObama for saying unemployment wouldn’t go above 8% if Stimulus passed #attachwatch #OFA

#AttachWatch Please investigate gibberish coming from Al Sharpton.Not even sure it’s English.Maybe some kind of secret code? #resistwemuch 

Dear #AttackWatch: This chick brought in some yummy smelling food today and did not redistribute it to the rest of us.

#attackwatch. Nancy Pelosi says that for every dollar spent on Food Stamps, 1.73 comes back. How come the ghettos aren’t rich?

Pedlar7 CW
#attackwatch I’d like to report the US Senate for not passing a budget for 800+ days. #HarryReid

My friend says obama never released med or college transcripts. ridiculous! please provide link so i can prove her wrong! #attackwatch

I saw criminals running down the street armed w guns NOT provided by the Justice Dept #attackwatch

#attackwatch. Reporting on my neighbor who said the war in Afghanistan has not ended per #Obama campaign promise!

Dear @AttackWatch someone requested 23,000 pages of Barack Obama’s emails .... oh wait..nevermind. #attackwatch

I just saw several white people. The #seesomethingsaysomething” videos show likely terrorists are white middle class #attackwatch

#AttackWatch my son would like to know where he can file a report for the theft of his future? #allyourObamabelongtous

Dear #AttackWatch, I heard that ‘lawmakers are looking for answers’ regarding Solyndra. Is that allowed?

#attackwatch Gibson Guitars are 100% American made..have DOJ raid them..oops u did that already

#AttackWatch I’m missing about 500 million dollars invested in some sort of solar energy company that’s gone bankrupt. Help? 

Celeste Atkins
Attention #attackwatch just saw some purse snatchers and pickpockets claiming #Obama gave them the idea. Investigate!

Celeste Atkins
I see dead people...registering to vote in Chicago. Get on it! #attackwatch

Celeste Atkins
Pssst #AttackWatch Someone is spreading an ugly rumor about Pelosi. They say if she has one more facelift she'll have a beard. Investigate!

Steel Magnolia 
Obama is so unpopular now that Kenyans are accusing him of being born in America. @AttackWatch #attackwatch @EricBoehlert

I read that attacks on Michelle Obama are to be reported to #sasquatchwatch not #attackwatch

Someone should report @AttackWatch to #attackwatch since it is demolishing Obama's reelection chances. Oh, the paradox!

RFD America 
BREAKING NEWS: #AttackWatch and #libtards take reeming, KY-Jelly proves ineffective. #attackwatch

Can't help but notice they named it #attackwatch rather than #truthwatch

#attackwatch I'm reporting the polar caps. They keep increasing even though you said they're shrinking. Clearly a GOP scam

#attackwatch, I want to report a smear. Been laughing so hard that I needed a change of #briefs.

RFD America 
Forgive me #AttackWatch, for I have sinned. It' has been 1 day since my last #snitch

AttackWatch The pro gun laws are stopping me from going into people's homes and taking my fair share!

#AttackWatch Just saw a person pick up a piece of litter and throw it away without a permit, union approval 

#AttackWatch have you cried "uncle" yet? Because we can keep this up all f***in' day.

Dear #AttackWatch my Alphabet soup spelled out "Obama is a stuttering clusterf*** of a miserable failure"

#AttackWatch is a perfect metaphor for Obama's presidency: meant to be serious, yet nothing but a joke.

Wasn't #AttackWatch bragging they got 10,000 email sign ups? The video mocking them has over 186,000 views.

RFD America
Oh #AttackWatch won't you by me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porches. I must make amends.

#attackwatch I want to report Al Gore. I think I have rectal cancer from all the smoke he blew.

#attackwatch @attackwatch if i tell you my boss said something bad about Obama, can I get his job? 


#AttackWatch No names, but someone in WH keeps leavin the toilet seat up! OK-Pretty sure it's Napolitano. MaO

#attackwatch My dog just created a shovel ready job for someone. It's piled up in my front yard.

Asia Reeves 
I gave my niece a bag of Cheetos this evening. I humbly ask that Michelle spares me the guillotine. #AttackWatch

#attackwatch I want to report someone at home on the range who said a discouraging word.

Don't see anything on the #attackwatch website about Solyndra, Gen Shelton's claims, or Fast and Furious

Was losing argument with #teaparty neighbor, so I called her a racist. Forgot she was black. Awkward. #attackwatch

@AttackWatch fact request: how do I map “tax and spend” to “hope and change”? Is it a 1-to-1 mapping, or more subtle? #attackwatch

#ifyouloveme and #passthisbill —  this is starting to look mentally unstable. Should invoke 25th, but, jeez, Biden?!. #attackwatch

@AttackWatch fact request: Will Obama’s next Nobel Prize be for bombing Lybia or arming Mexican drug lords? #attackwatch #fastandfurious

@AttackWatch fact request: what are the window dimensions in the Oval Office. @SarahPalinUSA is shopping for drapes. #attackwatch

#attackwatch: @foxnews is giving more than ONLY ONE side of stories! (that's what this is all about, right?)


Anonymous said...

Uncle Omar Reported to Attack Watch

Elizabeth said...

OMG this is freaking hilarious! Thank you my fellow citizens for the endless laughs. American's have the best sense of humor. This is a morale booster for sure, I guess I can thank Obama for that. I will spread the word about your site...but not on Attack Watch, of course! :)))))))