September 15, 2011

#AttackWatch fun

"Attack watch" is a terrible idea.  At best it seems desperate and beneath a president.  Others interpret it as intimidation towards opponents.  I'm glad freedom-loving Americans are fighting the authoritarian with an avalanche of humor.

The below have been gathered from different sites.  Please comment if you have a good one to share and, if I like it, I'll add it to the list. 

Dear #attackwatch: Orwell’s 1984 was a cautionary tale, not an instruction manual.

#AttackWatch I still have friends and family I believe are not on any kind of government assistance. Where can I report names?

So glad #attackwatch is here to dispel those unfounded attacks involving Solyndra, Gibson, Fast and Furious, Gulf moratorium, NBPP, etc.

Hey @attackwatch, there was an idiot in Congress last Thursday that kept screaming “pass this bill” when no bill had even been submitted.  #attackwatch

- someone said Obama is Hitler. I said that it's not true - Hitler got the Olympics for Germany. was that OK?"

Dear #attackwatch my neighbor won’t give me all her money even though she makes more than me. Look into this please.

Hey #attackwatch I just looked at a map of the U.S.  Someone has stolen 7 of the 57 States!

#attackwatch I saw someone purposely squeeze the Charmin in the grocery store

I want to report that an elected executive has been bowing to world dictators! #attackwatch @barackobama

“pass the bill to see what’s in it” !? I want to report Pelosi for gross dereliction of duty! #attackwatch @attackwatch 

I want to report a jr. sen. from IL that voted care not allowed for babies surviving botched abortions! evil: @barackobama #attackwatch

Taking away worker’s right to a private vote on whether to unionize! I want to report the dems for fascism! #attackwatch

Gee can’t imagine why BO supporters get upset when we call them “brown-shirts” or liken them to USSR’s “useful idiots”..#attackwatch

someone's pushing a ponzi scheme on Americans! they call it "social security". #attackwatch

Some guy named Joe Biden called Obama a “clean and articulate” black guy. I don’t know about you, but that smacks of racism. #attackwatch

#attackwatch I want to report a guy who farted in the elevator but refused to blame it on Bush.

#attackwatch Obama actually created 2 jobs yesterday...Republican Mark Amodei seat and Republican Bob Turners seat

Coincidence that @attackwatch colors are the same as Nazi flag? #attackwatch

Al Gore invented the internet just to humiliate Obama with #attackwatch

I’m grateful to live in a country where the totalitarians are so hilariously inept. #AttackWatch

My disabled WW2 Veteran neighbor insults Obama every day, he flies the American flag! #attackwatch

#attackwatch we much, we must and we will much, about that, be committed.

#attackwatch I think my neighbor is harboring conservatives in their attic. Please send the mean the DHS.

@BarackObama campaign has Tea Party moles. Nobody who likes the president would ever launch something as bad as @attackwatch. #attackwatch

Hey #attackwatch, I saw 6 ATM’s in an alley, killing a Job. It looked like a hate crime!

Uh oh..there’s a brown #AttackWatch van in my driveway. No..wait! It’s just UPS...whew!

#attackwatch: I saw kids setting up a lemonade stand the other day. And their parents had a flag in their yard.

Some jerk next to me says George Soros puts geoducks “inside himself!” This is NOT TRUE! #attackwatch

CRIPES! I just saw someone lift with their back and not their legs! This just won’t do. #AttackWatch are you aware of this?

Dear #AttackWatch, If I tell you what my Pastor said, can I have an ObamaCare waiver?

@AttackWatch Someone’s lying about the president on TV right now. Wait. That IS the president! #attackwatch

@AttackWatch I tried to find some red/black themed posters for you, but only ones I found are in German and have a funny symbol #attackwatch

The conservatives have coopted the #attackwatch hashtag. Another Acme product explodes in the face of Wile E. Obama

SEIU Intimidation Manual Exposed! #evil #attackwatch

hey @attackwatch investigate the whole country for not watching Olbermann #attackwatch LMFAO!!

@attackwatch Which Alinsky rule is #attackwatch?

#attackwatch I heard the OBAMA isnt even a good golfer even though he plays all the time @attackwatch

#attackwatch: “If I turn in 10 people, do I get an official brown shirt?”

#attackwatch Holder is guilty of murder.sold guns to drug cartel .oh, wait obama said it was ok to help the Drug on blow

Obama Sends Out Creepy Email: “Sometime Soon, Can We Meet For Dinner?” #attackwatch

It’s been 16 hours since @AttackWatch last posted a tweet. If that’s what they call ‘fighting back’ the 2012 election should be EASY.

1,472 ObamaCare waivers. #AttackWatch

Hey @AttackWatch, there's a rumor that your website is staffed by people who work at 501(c)(3) orgs and that's a no-no. #attackwatch

I heard a rumor that Obama was in fact dumber than Bush! Please help! Post his college transcripts to refute that. #attackwatch

@attackwatch, some idiot created a Twitter hashtag called #attackwatch and people are incessantly mocking @barackobama on it.

I don't think this transparent admin is very transparent, could you look into that? #attackwatch

#AttackWatch WH messing w/unemployment calculation. Please check into this & recalculate, if necessary. TY

Is “cash for clunkers” still in operation? How much can we get trading in @BarackObama toward a President who actually works? #attackwatch

Hey #AttackWatch, one word: Canada. They’ve been passing this stuff off as bacon for years...and it’s not.

Dear #AttackWatch We keep creating jobs in SC. They must be stopped. Oh wait, I forgot, you’re on top of that with the Boeing deal.

#attackwatch do you take reports from all 57 states? 

#attackwatch I know where Anne Frank is hiding!

#AttackWatch - Sarah Palin lives rent free inside your thin skull - are my govt tax $$ subsidizing her? I think this issue is a travesty

#AttackWatch I would like to report the theft of NY’s 9th Congressional District (& the Democrat Party’s mojo) by the GOP. 

Obama launched a program to track attack threats. We had a similar program on the Death Star, but that didn’t stop Luke. #AttackWatch

If #AttackWatch goes down, please be patient! North Korean software takes a while to reboot! 

@AttackWatch Someone in my house just said Obama failed every econ class in college. Please release his transcripts to debunk. #attachwatch

Dear @AttackWatch Reporting @BarackObama for saying unemployment wouldn’t go above 8% if Stimulus passed #attachwatch #OFA

#AttachWatch Please investigate gibberish coming from Al Sharpton.Not even sure it’s English.Maybe some kind of secret code? #resistwemuch 

Dear #AttackWatch: This chick brought in some yummy smelling food today and did not redistribute it to the rest of us.

#attackwatch. Nancy Pelosi says that for every dollar spent on Food Stamps, 1.73 comes back. How come the ghettos aren’t rich?

Pedlar7 CW
#attackwatch I’d like to report the US Senate for not passing a budget for 800+ days. #HarryReid

My friend says obama never released med or college transcripts. ridiculous! please provide link so i can prove her wrong! #attackwatch

I saw criminals running down the street armed w guns NOT provided by the Justice Dept #attackwatch

#attackwatch. Reporting on my neighbor who said the war in Afghanistan has not ended per #Obama campaign promise!

Dear @AttackWatch someone requested 23,000 pages of Barack Obama’s emails .... oh wait..nevermind. #attackwatch

I just saw several white people. The #seesomethingsaysomething” videos show likely terrorists are white middle class #attackwatch

#AttackWatch my son would like to know where he can file a report for the theft of his future? #allyourObamabelongtous

Dear #AttackWatch, I heard that ‘lawmakers are looking for answers’ regarding Solyndra. Is that allowed?

#attackwatch Gibson Guitars are 100% American made..have DOJ raid them..oops u did that already

#AttackWatch I’m missing about 500 million dollars invested in some sort of solar energy company that’s gone bankrupt. Help? 

Celeste Atkins
Attention #attackwatch just saw some purse snatchers and pickpockets claiming #Obama gave them the idea. Investigate!

Celeste Atkins
I see dead people...registering to vote in Chicago. Get on it! #attackwatch

Celeste Atkins
Pssst #AttackWatch Someone is spreading an ugly rumor about Pelosi. They say if she has one more facelift she'll have a beard. Investigate!

Steel Magnolia 
Obama is so unpopular now that Kenyans are accusing him of being born in America. @AttackWatch #attackwatch @EricBoehlert

I read that attacks on Michelle Obama are to be reported to #sasquatchwatch not #attackwatch

Someone should report @AttackWatch to #attackwatch since it is demolishing Obama's reelection chances. Oh, the paradox!

RFD America 
BREAKING NEWS: #AttackWatch and #libtards take reeming, KY-Jelly proves ineffective. #attackwatch

Can't help but notice they named it #attackwatch rather than #truthwatch

#attackwatch I'm reporting the polar caps. They keep increasing even though you said they're shrinking. Clearly a GOP scam

#attackwatch, I want to report a smear. Been laughing so hard that I needed a change of #briefs.

RFD America 
Forgive me #AttackWatch, for I have sinned. It' has been 1 day since my last #snitch

AttackWatch The pro gun laws are stopping me from going into people's homes and taking my fair share!

#AttackWatch Just saw a person pick up a piece of litter and throw it away without a permit, union approval 

#AttackWatch have you cried "uncle" yet? Because we can keep this up all f***in' day.

Dear #AttackWatch my Alphabet soup spelled out "Obama is a stuttering clusterf*** of a miserable failure"

#AttackWatch is a perfect metaphor for Obama's presidency: meant to be serious, yet nothing but a joke.

Wasn't #AttackWatch bragging they got 10,000 email sign ups? The video mocking them has over 186,000 views.

RFD America
Oh #AttackWatch won't you by me a Mercedes Benz? My friends all drive Porches. I must make amends.

#attackwatch I want to report Al Gore. I think I have rectal cancer from all the smoke he blew.

#attackwatch @attackwatch if i tell you my boss said something bad about Obama, can I get his job? 


#AttackWatch No names, but someone in WH keeps leavin the toilet seat up! OK-Pretty sure it's Napolitano. MaO

#attackwatch My dog just created a shovel ready job for someone. It's piled up in my front yard.

Asia Reeves 
I gave my niece a bag of Cheetos this evening. I humbly ask that Michelle spares me the guillotine. #AttackWatch

#attackwatch I want to report someone at home on the range who said a discouraging word.

Don't see anything on the #attackwatch website about Solyndra, Gen Shelton's claims, or Fast and Furious

Was losing argument with #teaparty neighbor, so I called her a racist. Forgot she was black. Awkward. #attackwatch

@AttackWatch fact request: how do I map “tax and spend” to “hope and change”? Is it a 1-to-1 mapping, or more subtle? #attackwatch

#ifyouloveme and #passthisbill —  this is starting to look mentally unstable. Should invoke 25th, but, jeez, Biden?!. #attackwatch

@AttackWatch fact request: Will Obama’s next Nobel Prize be for bombing Lybia or arming Mexican drug lords? #attackwatch #fastandfurious

@AttackWatch fact request: what are the window dimensions in the Oval Office. @SarahPalinUSA is shopping for drapes. #attackwatch

#attackwatch: @foxnews is giving more than ONLY ONE side of stories! (that's what this is all about, right?)